Henco Espag

FELLOW TRAVELERS | MARCH 14, 2026

7 MIN READ

A curious sensualist with good taste and better instincts — chasing beauty, connection, and just enough chaos to keep life from ever feeling rehearsed.

Henco — @hencoespag

Your favorite pornstar — first name that comes to mind. Noël Alejandro. What turns you off? A reluctance to be curious about or open to perspectives different from one’s own. Something you tried once and would not repeat. Swinging from a rope into a cenote in Yucatán. I nearly broke my middle finger—but apart from that it was a wonderful, beautiful experience. Haha!Which work by a gay artist would you want at home, and why? An Untitled work from the Buddy Series (1969) by Tom of Finland. I’m drawn to its unapologetic, almost grotesque celebration of the male physique. His work fills me with exhilaration—as if life as a gay man should be lived boldly, thoughtfully, and freely, without apology. What is your happiest memory? Two come to mind. The first LEGO set my parents gave me as a child, and the day my partner proposed—after an elaborate, beautifully planned afternoon tea with friends and family. I had absolutely no idea it was coming, and I’m usually a pretty good amateur sleuth. Hehe!What are you actually looking for right now? Being an artist can be incredibly intense—both uplifting and deeply challenging. The highs soar and the lows can feel heavy. I’m trying to find a balance that allows spontaneous adventures while also cultivating stability and inner centredness. What is considered normal in Mexico that outsiders consistently misunderstand? Sometimes slightly less direct eye contact signals respect—not dishonesty. What do you now know about Mexico that guidebooks never bothered to mention? I’ve never relied on guidebooks. When I travel somewhere new, I usually arrive without a fixed itinerary. I prefer discovering places spontaneously and getting recommendations directly from locals. Most guidebooks and blogs never capture the magic of Mexico’s street food culture—the way you can completely immerse yourself in it if you come with an open mind. What quietly excellent thing have most visitors missed entirely? Local neighbourhood bathhouses and saunas. To me they beautifully sum up everyday culture—how people relax, socialise, and live beyond tourist hotspots. What daily ritual anchors you when you’re far from home? This might sound absurd, but honestly: my daily poop clock. When travel throws it off, it genuinely throws me for a loop. Where is home for you now—and where do you go when you don’t want to be seen, but don’t want to be alone? I’m originally from South Africa but have lived in the U.S. since I was eighteen. New York City is home now. My favourite way to be unseen but not alone is going to the theatre—especially a matinee. Sitting in the dark, surrounded by people, sharing an experience without needing to participate feels strangely comforting. A sauna can offer something similar: silence as the norm, connection without small talk, proximity without biography. Though, to be honest, I often end up going in the exact opposite direction. When have you behaved badly abroad? I “misbehave” all the time—hehe! I love embracing fun in all its forms when I travel, especially when it means connecting with local gay and queer communities. What pleasure do you defend without apology? Sex. It’s a beautiful, joyful adventure—wherever you are in the world. What fantasy of yours should stay a fantasy? The first thing that popped into my head was a childhood dream of becoming some sort of king. Fun to imagine for a moment—but definitely destined to remain a fantasy. What boundary did you learn to enforce in Mexico—and why? Separating connection from consumption. Choosing meaningful interaction over novelty for novelty’s sake. A place as vibrant as Mexico City can be intoxicating. The social energy is warm, immediate, and often very direct. In queer spaces especially, attention can be abundant and flattering. Learning to pause and ask, Do I actually want this?—rather than simply responding to the moment—became an important boundary.What do you want more of in bed—and what are you doing about it? I’m lucky to be very satisfied in bed, but I always enjoy pushing boundaries and discovering new forms of pleasure, fun, and connection. My partner is a beautiful, sexy, and intelligent man, and we communicate openly about our needs. We’re always finding ways to keep things fresh. That includes exploring encounters with other men—together, separately, or in group settings. Honestly, I can’t think of anything I want more of—only the continued exploration of new adventures and unexpected pleasures. What is the most adult decision you’ve ever made? Definitely conducting large instrumental ensembles in full sequin gowns and heels… haha. My feet were not pleased—and still aren’t. But truly, the most adult decision I ever made was moving to a foreign country at eighteen to pursue my musical dreams. What has Mexico given you that you didn’t know to ask for? More than incredible food or magical towns alive with history—it’s the unplanned moments. The times when locals share stories, invite you in, or show you a world you didn’t know you needed. Those gestures of generosity and openness have shaped my experience far more than any itinerary ever could. What has it taken from you that you no longer needed? Mexico helped me let go of the need to control everything and plan every detail. It nudged me away from rigid expectations and into a more flexible, present way of living. Traveling there taught me the value of slowing down, embracing spontaneity, and letting moments unfold rather than forcing outcomes. What should newcomers learn quickly—or suffer for ignoring it? Courtesy goes a long way. Even if you don’t speak Spanish, showing respect in every interaction makes a big difference. If you had to explain Mexico to someone you love, what would you say? Mexico is a place of vibrant life, deep history, and a spirit that engages all the senses. It’s extraordinarily diverse—from jungles and deserts to cities layered with pre-Hispanic and colonial heritage. What surprised me most is how warmly it has embraced me, especially as a gay man. Cities like Mexico City actively celebrate diversity through thriving LGBTQ+ neighbourhoods, cultural scenes, Pride events, and dedicated queer spaces that make people feel welcome. For me, Mexico isn’t just a destination—it’s another home base where I can feel safe, be myself, and live fully in the moment. If this chapter of your life were a footnote, what would it read? A chapter born of curiosity and courage—full of unexpected wonder. A time of opening to the world, loosening the reins, sprinkling glitter and sequins along the way, and finding belonging in what once felt foreign. ■

— Untitled work from the Buddy Series (1969) by Tom of Finland