Henco Espag

FELLOW TRAVELERS | MARCH 14, 2026

7 MIN READ

Henco is a pianist, conductor, composer, and professor who travels frequently to Mexico. Though he has explored much of the country, Mexico City is where he feels most at home—drawn to its street food, cultural curiosities, and the quiet pulse of local life, from bathhouses and saunas to the small, unexpected discoveries that rarely make it into guidebooks.

Henco — @hencoespag

Your favorite pornstar — first name that comes to mind. Noël Alejandro. What turns you off? A reluctance to be curious about or open to perspectives different from one’s own. Something you tried once and would not repeat. Swinging from a rope into a cenote in Yucatán. I nearly broke my middle finger—but apart from that it was a wonderful, beautiful experience. Haha!Which work by a gay artist would you want at home, and why? An Untitled work from the Buddy Series (1969) by Tom of Finland. I’m drawn to its unapologetic, almost grotesque celebration of the male physique. His work fills me with exhilaration—as if life as a gay man should be lived boldly, thoughtfully, and freely, without apology. What is your happiest memory? Two come to mind. The first LEGO set my parents gave me as a child, and the day my partner proposed—after an elaborate, beautifully planned afternoon tea with friends and family. I had absolutely no idea it was coming, and I’m usually a pretty good amateur sleuth. Hehe!What are you actually looking for right now? Being an artist can be incredibly intense—both uplifting and deeply challenging. The highs soar and the lows can feel heavy. I’m trying to find a balance that allows spontaneous adventures while also cultivating stability and inner centredness. What is considered normal in Mexico that outsiders consistently misunderstand? Sometimes slightly less direct eye contact signals respect—not dishonesty. What do you now know about Mexico that guidebooks never bothered to mention? I’ve never relied on guidebooks. When I travel somewhere new, I usually arrive without a fixed itinerary. I prefer discovering places spontaneously and getting recommendations directly from locals. Most guidebooks and blogs never capture the magic of Mexico’s street food culture—the way you can completely immerse yourself in it if you come with an open mind. What quietly excellent thing have most visitors missed entirely? Local neighbourhood bathhouses and saunas. To me they beautifully sum up everyday culture—how people relax, socialise, and live beyond tourist hotspots. What daily ritual anchors you when you’re far from home? This might sound absurd, but honestly: my daily poop clock. When travel throws it off, it genuinely throws me for a loop. Where is home for you now—and where do you go when you don’t want to be seen, but don’t want to be alone? I’m originally from South Africa but have lived in the U.S. since I was eighteen. New York City is home now. My favourite way to be unseen but not alone is going to the theatre—especially a matinee. Sitting in the dark, surrounded by people, sharing an experience without needing to participate feels strangely comforting. A sauna can offer something similar: silence as the norm, connection without small talk, proximity without biography. Though, to be honest, I often end up going in the exact opposite direction. When have you behaved badly abroad? I “misbehave” all the time—hehe! I love embracing fun in all its forms when I travel, especially when it means connecting with local gay and queer communities. What pleasure do you defend without apology? Sex. It’s a beautiful, joyful adventure—wherever you are in the world. What fantasy of yours should stay a fantasy? The first thing that popped into my head was a childhood dream of becoming some sort of king. Fun to imagine for a moment—but definitely destined to remain a fantasy. What boundary did you learn to enforce in Mexico—and why? Separating connection from consumption. Choosing meaningful interaction over novelty for novelty’s sake. A place as vibrant as Mexico City can be intoxicating. The social energy is warm, immediate, and often very direct. In queer spaces especially, attention can be abundant and flattering. Learning to pause and ask, Do I actually want this?—rather than simply responding to the moment—became an important boundary.What do you want more of in bed—and what are you doing about it? I’m lucky to be very satisfied in bed, but I always enjoy pushing boundaries and discovering new forms of pleasure, fun, and connection. My partner is a beautiful, sexy, and intelligent man, and we communicate openly about our needs. We’re always finding ways to keep things fresh. That includes exploring encounters with other men—together, separately, or in group settings. Honestly, I can’t think of anything I want more of—only the continued exploration of new adventures and unexpected pleasures. What is the most adult decision you’ve ever made? Definitely conducting large instrumental ensembles in full sequin gowns and heels… haha. My feet were not pleased—and still aren’t. But truly, the most adult decision I ever made was moving to a foreign country at eighteen to pursue my musical dreams. What has Mexico given you that you didn’t know to ask for? More than incredible food or magical towns alive with history—it’s the unplanned moments. The times when locals share stories, invite you in, or show you a world you didn’t know you needed. Those gestures of generosity and openness have shaped my experience far more than any itinerary ever could. What has it taken from you that you no longer needed? Mexico helped me let go of the need to control everything and plan every detail. It nudged me away from rigid expectations and into a more flexible, present way of living. Traveling there taught me the value of slowing down, embracing spontaneity, and letting moments unfold rather than forcing outcomes. What should newcomers learn quickly—or suffer for ignoring it? Courtesy goes a long way. Even if you don’t speak Spanish, showing respect in every interaction makes a big difference. If you had to explain Mexico to someone you love, what would you say? Mexico is a place of vibrant life, deep history, and a spirit that engages all the senses. It’s extraordinarily diverse—from jungles and deserts to cities layered with pre-Hispanic and colonial heritage. What surprised me most is how warmly it has embraced me, especially as a gay man. Cities like Mexico City actively celebrate diversity through thriving LGBTQ+ neighbourhoods, cultural scenes, Pride events, and dedicated queer spaces that make people feel welcome. For me, Mexico isn’t just a destination—it’s another home base where I can feel safe, be myself, and live fully in the moment. If this chapter of your life were a footnote, what would it read? A chapter born of curiosity and courage—full of unexpected wonder. A time of opening to the world, loosening the reins, sprinkling glitter and sequins along the way, and finding belonging in what once felt foreign. ■

— Untitled work from the Buddy Series (1969) by Tom of Finland

James Miille

FELLOW TRAVELERS | FEBRUARY 14, 2026

7 MIN READ

James is a California multimedia artist now living in Mexico City. He splits his time between making art, wandering the city with his boyfriend, and disappearing on weekly adventures that cost less than a good dinner but somehow feel far more decadent.

— @jamesmiiille

Your favorite pornstar — first name that comes to mind. I tend to have favorite scenes rather than favorite performers… If pressed for a name, I’d say Skip Ransom. What turns you off? People making assumptions about what I like in bed. Ask what I’m into, don’t project. Something you tried once and would not repeat. Diving off a cliff into water. Terrifying. I did get one of my favorite photographs that same day—of someone else jumping—but I have no interest in repeating the experience myself. Some lessons don’t need reinforcement. Which work by a gay artist would you want at home, and why? Single Rower in Cattails by Mark Beard. His work feels early 20th century, but with subtle gay motifs that I love. As far as the figure goes, it’s everything I’m drawn to: muscular, potentially short, set in nature. The isolation interests me on a very personal level. It’s a beautiful piece—gorgeous palette, and a really lovely use of brushwork. What is your happiest memory? Sunset in Brooklyn Bridge Park, alone, listening to music. What are you actually looking for right now? To finally do the things I’ve postponed for over a decade. That means stabilizing my career, moving beyond a month-to-month mentality, and building a comfortable, sustainable life. Less scramble. More intention. What is considered normal in Mexico that outsiders consistently misunderstand? Direct, call-out marketing. People announcing themselves, actively competing for attention. It’s not very common in the U.S., but it’s everywhere here. In many ways, it’s one of the earliest forms of marketing: people shouting or announcing what they offer—often simply to say what the competitor next door doesn’t. What do you now know about Mexico that guidebooks never bothered to mention? You can reach incredible places very close to Mexico City just by taking public transport. We (my Mexican boyfriend Jona and I) do weekly adventure days every Friday and see some of the most amazing things I’ve ever encountered for around 300 pesos. These places are often overlooked because they’re not the most popular destinations and aren’t always the easiest to reach. Which is exactly why they’re worth it. What quietly excellent thing have most visitors missed entirely? There are so many, but I’d choose one that’s actually right here in Mexico City: Museo Anahuacalli. The heart of what would’ve been Diego Rivera’s City of the Arts, near places everyone visits, yet it rarely makes the list. The campus is beautiful, the museum itself exceptional—and almost no one I recommend it to has been. Even friends who’ve visited the city several times haven’t seen it. What daily ritual anchors you when you’re far from home? Living rather than visiting. Staying in, going to the gym, walking my neighborhood. Ordinary routines are what make a place feel like home. That’s the trick. Where is home for you now—and where do you go when you don’t want to be seen, but don’t want to be alone? Home is in the south of the city, in San José Insurgentes. When I want quiet company without attention, I go to Los Pinos. I can get there easily on the orange Metro line. There’s a small koi pond—people pass through, but no one lingers. It’s calm without being isolating. When have you behaved badly abroad?(Laughs) Not so long ago, I explored more of a botanical garden than I should have—with my boyfriend. We got caught exploring… I’m constantly learning the value of discretion when curiosity gets the better of you. What pleasure do you defend without apology? Enjoying time in the great outdoors with someone I love. I do find myself apologizing for many things, but this is one I try to hold onto. What fantasy of yours should stay a fantasy? Well… that's gonna stay both a fantasy and in the deeper reaches of my imagination where it belongs. What boundary did you learn to enforce in Mexico—and why? Through meeting and talking with a lot of people, I’ve learned to keep my heart focused on my art. I don’t indulge people who want to take things to another level in exchange for buying it. It’s a boundary I’ve had to enforce more than once—and it matters. What do you want more of in bed—and what are you doing about it? A consistent eight hours of sleep. Wink-wink. Trying alarms at night now too! What is the most adult decision you’ve ever made? Making coffee at home in the morning instead of going out and spending ten dollars at a café every day. What has Mexico given you that you didn’t know to ask for? An adventurous rhythm to life. I’ve learned to treat free time as essential rather than optional. Weekly excursions with my boyfriend have become a reset that improves everything else. Those Friday adventure days are now a ritual—one that grounds the rest of the week. What has it taken from you that you no longer needed? The belief that rest or time off has to be justified by productivity. What should newcomers learn quickly—or suffer for ignoring it? You’re more likely to get food poisoning from restaurants or delivery apps than from street food. If you had to explain Mexico to someone you love, what would you say? That Mexico—and Mexico City in particular—is one of the new art capitals of the world. If this chapter of your life were a footnote, what would it read? The Big Reset. Pretty much every aspect of my life—career, relationship, where I live, my art—is starting over. It feels like a full refresh, and I’m genuinely enjoying this chapter. ■

— Mark Beard, Single Rower in Cattails, 2013